Columbus is a nerdy, wimpy asthmatic college student with IBS, who so far has been able to prolong his existence in the united states of Zombieland by following his list of rules on how to survive the Plague of the 21st century.
Rule #2 Double tap. “In those moments when you’re not sure the undead are really dead dead don’t get all stingy with your bullets…”
Rule #3 Beware of bathrooms. “Don’t let them catch you with your pants down.”
Rule #22 When in doubt, know your way out.
On his way to Columbus, Columbus meets Tallahassee, a man who “sets the standard for not to be fucked with”; he gives Columbus his nickname Columbus so as to not get too personally attached. Along the way they encounter Wichita and her little sister Little Rock, heading to Pacific Playland, and decide to travel together for a while. Columbus the “peppy little spit-fuck he is”, is a great character though a little inconsistent—e.g. at the beginning he informs us that he has Irritable Bowl Syndrome yet the effects of that condition are shown only twice early in the movie; granted, referring to it every ten minutes would be overkill, but the way this movie is shot it could have had a scene of him urgently requiring a toilet-break while everyone waits for him during the road-trip montage. The character Tallahassee, being the ass-kicking, zombie-hating, Twinkie-loving badass, is all well and good and he is by far my favourite. Little Rock I found annoying but likeable. I found Wichita the most annoying: she was just a bitch; this may be to her character being incomplete compared to the others and, whereas the other actors played their parts well and really fit their characters, I felt that there could have been a better choice than Emma Stone who didn’t really suit the rôle.
The jokes are as what you would expect from this type of movie—nothing really new, and we all know how it will end—but that doesn’t spoil the movie: it is still an entertaining eighty minutes of gruesome but funny zombie-killing and that’s the real reason you will watch this movie over and over again, not for its immersive story or in-depth look at the world; no, it’s for the zombie-killing goodness that we all crave to see and get way too exited about when we hear a new one is coming out.
Zombieland is just about what you want from this type of movie.
7.5 out of 10